Porr
Many people have come across or thought about porn – but almost no one talks about it. Maybe you’d like to know more, or want to understand how porn can affect you or what it does to others? Have you got mixed feelings, feeling ashamed about porn but also somehow drawn to it? Perhaps you like to masturbate to a certain kind of porn but feel bad about it. Have you wondered whether what you’re seeing is violence, or where consent begins and ends in porn? You have every right to learn what you need to know to decide what your boundaries are and to recognise other people’s limits.
What is porn?
Porn producers don’t care about how you or the people they’re filming are feeling. They don’t care about good or bad, about not crossing anyone’s boundaries. The actors you see in porn are often forced to do things they don’t want to do.
Porn often shows us violence. A typical porn clip will feature a guy controlling a girl, who has to do exactly what the guy wants her to do. You can end up feeling pressured to want to do the same things you’ve seen in porn. But you don’t have to!
Maybe you watch a kind of porn you’re pretty sure doesn’t contain violence, or porn that’s not about a guy and a girl. It can be good to know, however, that even if you watch a different kind of porn, it still won’t give you a realistic picture of human bodies or help you figure out what kind of sex you enjoy. People in porn often moan loudly, for example, have sex for hours and make everything look easy. Have you ever compared yourself to this and felt bad about your own sex life? Read more about sex here.
Regularly watching porn can affect your wellbeing and the way you view consent and your own or other people’s boundaries. Porn can harm you and the people you love.
Common questions
Here are some of the questions we often get about porn.
Porn creates an image of what sex ‘should be like’, both solo sex and sex with others. Even if you’re not interested in trying out the things you’ve seen in porn with anyone else, porn can still affect the way you see yourself and others. Aggressive and violent porn can leave a lasting impression on you, even when you don’t want it to; it stretches the limits of what you think is okay. Most porn is made by big corporations that want to earn money. They don’t care about porn being ethical and feeling good for everyone. The people you see in porn are often treated badly, and not there because they want to be there. You have the right to explore your own sexuality – but without hurting yourself or others. Porn shouldn’t be allowed to decide what counts as sex, or how we should be having sex.
Many people are in the same situation you’re in! It’s common to feel ashamed but still watch porn. A lot of people turn to porn because it’s so accessible and makes you horny. But the more porn you watch, the bigger the risk you’ll start comparing yourself to porn actors and develop a certain idea of what sex ‘should be like’. Which isn’t fair to you or others. Maybe ask yourself the following questions when you think about porn: How do you feel when you watch porn? How do you feel afterwards? Does watching porn make you think sex should be a certain way? Can you try out anything else that’s not porn?
Watching porn makes me feel crap, how can I stop?
You’re not alone. Many guys chat with us because porn makes them feel bad and they want to stop watching it. Some say they watch more porn when they feel down or when they’re stressed about something in life. For others, it’s become hard to get an erection without watching porn. Why do you want to stop watching porn? When do you tend to watch porn? Can you do something else in those moments?
Drop by and talk with us about the effect porn has on you!
